Although the entire concept surrounding Garden Gnomes is a bit odd, it’s safe to say that some of these quaint little fixtures are more bizarre than others. That said, we proudly bring you the extreme odd balls – a gallery of the most freakish Garden Gnomes we could find and a few other wacky wares.
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1. The Zombie Gnome
A far departure from the friendly face of your typical Garden Gnome, this grotesque Zombie Gnome is most likely a seasonal decoration – a Halloween party favor that belongs on the set of Night of the Living Dead (Gnome).
2. The Naked Gnome
We’re not exactly sure what the rating system for explicit content is in the magical land of the gnomes; however, in the human realm, this full-frontal fellow earns an NC-17 for nudity, strong sexual content and lewd acts.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/Motemeal/gnomenaked.jpg
3. The Fascist Gnome
As if Garden Gnomes weren’t already offensive enough to our general intelligence as a society, some disturbed individual along the way went ahead and manufactured a brigade of Fascist Gnomes, making this bunch of garden oddities even more scary than the Zombies on the list.
4. Dog Head Decor
We’re not exactly sure as to why you would want your garden bed to be mistaken for the haphazard burial site of the old family pet Fido but that’s what we see here – a dog-head garden fixture that’s all too reminiscent of a scene from The Pet Cemetery.
5. The Wizard Gnome
While Garden Gnomes are typically a whimsical sign of a warm welcoming, we imagine this shockingly realistic wooden wizard would have the opposite “scarecrow” effect on visitors; an ominous “Get Out!” seems more appropriate.
6. Bigfoot in a Tree
A small fraction of mankind can make the actual claim that they’ve seen the mythical beast known as Bigfoot – a smaller fraction can say they’ve seen him up in a tree. Whether you’re a believer or not, it’s nice to know that you can at least help the legend live on through a Bigfoot tree accessory.
7. Living Dead Decor
Speaking of props from the set of Night of the Living Dead, this non-Gnome garden oddity is an ideal fixture for startling visitors, scarring children for life and successfully getting your home flagged by local law enforcement as a potential scene-of-the-crime. Of course, if this is your intention, job well done.
I’m not actually sure whether or not the figure here is digging himself out of the ground with fresh brain-eating on his mind, or whether he’s being sucked under. You be the judge.
8. Gotham Garden Gnome Avengers
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a gnome – Batman (Batgnome?) and Robin to be exact. Although you’re probably better off getting a guard dog to ward off the mischievous, we thought these pint-sized crime stoppers were kind of a funny take on your average Garden Gnome.
9. Peeing Fountain
We’ve all seen a fair amount of “peeing” fountains but this one seems to be a bit more graphic than the norm. While some might consider this risqué garden fixture to be a functional work of art, we think it’s TMI.
10. The Giant Gnome
OK, this clearly isn’t a garden fixture but when you’re use to seeing ankle-high Garden Gnomes, this particular anomaly certainly falls into the oddity category. That said, we’d love to see this gigantic gnome not-so-subtly planted in someone’s garden – what a site to see!
Seen anything while on your own travels in the garden along these lines, or any other lines? Tell us about it in the comments section!
Cheers!
Rob.